Be Around Good People

 

Tonight I attended a virtual lecture.  Growing up my Mom and Grandparents said “You’re known by the company you keep”.  That is a huge understatement.  

With whom we choose to have in our lives impacts and shapes us.  If we are around folks who complain incessantly then we begin to feel negativity creeping into our life.  If we are around people who use disrespectful language we begin to think in rude terms.  If we are around people who are dishonest we may immolate them unaware.  If we are around people who have no direction and eat up their time with useless endeavors we too are wasting our time.

My niece hung out with the wrong people.  It cost her the privilege of living.

When we were in school in Texas (we were there for almost two years with my Dad) there was an abandoned house that students skipped school and hung out taking drugs.  One day the police raided it.  Some of the students were just hanging out and wasn’t using the drugs.  They all got arrested.  They all were convicted.  They all had a diversion in their young lives that was not pleasant.

How many times have we heard about kids that are killed because their friend was buzzed while driving.

Once in Calculus II I saw a fellow student cheating.  Even with his book open on the floor he failed the test, and in fact failed the course.  you never get ahead by cheating.  You can pretend for only so long.  Eventually you have to prove yourself.  You either know it or you don’t.

I have a ‘friend’ who gets angry quickly and takes childish actions without any thought what-so-ever.  What do they add to my life?  More importantly perhaps is the question of how much negativity do I allow to shed off the relationship?

When I didn’t have the courage to walk away from a partnership that was doing business in a way that I couldn’t condone, God ended it for me.  It turned out to be a blessing.  Perhaps some will know of what I refer - perhaps not.  The fault was mine.  Once I knew that we were at odds I should have ended it myself.

In the past I’ve done well when I’ve remembered the simple truth to work with those who have your same values and goals.  I’ve always striven to do whatever I undertake with excellence.  Sometimes I’ve lost my way.

Then my meandering mind turns towards my faith.  While I respect everyone and have many friends who are not ‘christians’ yet they are honorable people astute in treating others the way they would want to be treated.  We are called to love not judge.  The big ‘gift’ we have is the ability to choose.  Our Heavenly Father is merciful, and our souls are a part of him.  We are all connected whether we want to be or not.  When a butterfly flaps it’s wings in China we feel the flutter here.

I’ve been harmed by the dishonesty of others.  It’s cost me a lot this past two years.  I have also relearned the truth of we can’t put our destiny in the hands of others.  Oh sure sometimes we have to like when we are having surgery, or trust the pharmacist to fill our medication correctly.  It is a universal truth though that nobody will look at your well-being in business more than yourself.

I’ve also learned that what I offer isn’t valued.  Working when your sick, canceling your plans so that others can attend a friends wedding, showing up on time, working late, being honest and working for less than $3 an hour so that students can be taught excellence isn’t appreciated.  When I’m told one thing and then the person does something totally opposite never taking into account the cost to me I should be done. When my expenses are out of pocket and I’m told to submit a report and I’m only paid for one trip to Hatteras rather than the innumerable miles driven on behalf of the employer I should have been done.

In my way of thinking folks should be honest.  If there is a concern talk about it.  Blindsiding someone is never OK.  I’ve been blindsided a few times in the last two years.  

So if you are around people who make you feel less than you are, or people doing illegal things, or people who take you for granted, or people who hurt you (intentionally or not), or people who take your work as their own, or people who talk badly about you (it’s palpable), or people who are dishonest with you, or people who say untrue things about you, or people who take more from you then they will ever give, or assume you will always be there to take the ‘abuse’, or tell you how you can never do a thing, or don’t believe in you then move on.

Move on to people who add to your life.  Move on to business entities that work with integrity.  Move on to friends who want your best for you.  Move on to a faith group that supports you, your beliefs and helps you grow.  Be generous, but don’t throw your pearls after swine.  Perhaps most important of all remember that you are enough, you can do whatever you need to  and you are loved by people that you haven’t even met yet.

I’ve recently been told by a family member that I’m no good, that I have ‘nothing’ and that I’m incapable of caring for them.  I’ve been in caregiver mode for decades.  Literally decades.  Perhaps with a little bit of pride I would like to prove them wrong.  All my income producing plans were destroyed by Covid.  But, I’m learning a new way.  I’m praying daily for help with what I can offer in exchange for revenue.  

 2021 will offer new opportunities, but I will never again allow others to be in control of my business.  I will never again be stroked by velvety words only to find that I’m being gaslighted.  I’m intent on reclaiming the real me.  So watch out world.  I’ve been through a lot, I’ve overcome a lot and I’ve achieved a lot.